TIGblogs - washosy

Truly, I loved Bill with all my heart. He was every woman’s dream; tall, handsome, ebony black, wears beautiful carved mustache like that of Ramsey Noah, the Nollywood actor. Bill had a good job as a banker with First Bank. In my heart, I thought about him; my soul whispers his name daily, My heart sings the sweet words he told me often like: I love you, you are my life.

The most annoying time is when he looks into my eyes and says: "Give me time and I will show you how much I love you."

I gave Bill so much time to prove he loved me, but he never proposed me. Few times I have asked Bill about our future, he always says: "The future will take care of itself."

You see I never knew my future with Bill. He needed time, I gave him enough; in fact, Bill was my teenage lover. I met Bill during my senior secondary II, when I was sixteen years. Then he sweet-talked me and took away my virginity. Since then I have not been able to leave Bill, and he seems to love me too.

There have been moments of trial in our relationship; like when Bill asked me to sleep over in his house, that I could not do. He got angry with me, slapped me, and later apologized.

My friends told me: "Nneka, open your eyes; Bill is using you. Just because you didn’t sleep in his house, he slapped you. Come on, baby, don’t be a fool; he is using you just for one thing – sex, of course."

I never believed them.

Bill is all I need in my life; he owns me. I don’t mind giving him my soul, if it had come to the extent laying my life down. When I was twenty three – almost through with my university studies, I still had Bill beside me, giving me sweet words and keeping our future blank.

Bill asked me to see him today at Bar Beach by 4:00 pm. Although Bill has a tight schedule, he never disappointed when it comes to date; he will always be the first to arrive. I glanced at my watch: It was almost 4:00 pm. I loved to see Bill with my best cloths on. I picked my beautiful red shirt and put it on. I also put on my tight jeans that would show my beautiful curves; my friends always say that my shape was like that of a Greek goddess. I have not seen a Greek goddess before, but all I know is that I have a wonderful curve that make eyes turn round. I powdered my face with a Mary Kay designer’s powder, put mascara on my eyelids, and rubbed a golden color lipstick on my thin lips, all blended with my fair complexion. My hair was already braided; all I did was to divide the Bob Marley braid and tied each with a hair band. I walked over to my standing mirror. Truly I look gorgeous. My friends always say that I look striking with this simple dress. I picked up the designer shoes my uncle in London sent to me and put them on.

I walked into the street. I know Bill will be waiting for me now at the beach. In order to get there quickly, I picked a commercial bike to Bar Beach.

I arrived at the beach around quarter past four in the evening. Azure hung like a large bowl in the heaven full of hue. It was very romantic. Everywhere seemed like paradise to me. The white-sand beach, the thatch houses, the sea splashing its shores, the foamy water that wets the white sand. Lovers were all over the place. It seemed like a kingdom of lovers: couples holding themselves, lovers walking quietly beside the beach, romantic men tossing theire woman into the water or sitting in the thatch houses. Also in this paradise, there were some strange sites as white-garment prayer houses, madmen dancing naked to a silent music, strange scruffy-looking men picking up debris of nothing from the beach and scratching their private part at the same time.

Bill told me to meet him in a bar the called Sweet Dreams. Just down the road, I found the bar without asking lovers, couples, madmen, or strange-looking men. Sweet Dreams was a little bit romantic, but I would have loved to sit beside the water; where seabreeze will touch me and foamy water wash my feet while I look into the azure sky. To my surprise, Bill wasn’t there. My thoughts started to race: Bill has never been late to date before. What went wrong? I quietly sat down on a table meant for two. The waiter brought the carte du jour.

“Can I have chilled bottled water,” I ordered. I just wanted something that will keep me waiting.

I was beginning to feel sleepy when Bill arrive. I could see him walk into the bar. He wore a black suit, unlike him. Whenever we fixed a date, Bill always dressed casual. Today everything seemed odd, especially his looks. Bill wore a sad expression, as if he has been to hell. He sat in front of me trying to force a smile. I neither spoke nor greeted him. He ordered red wine – that is never my choice, and he knew I like to drink juice.

The waiter brought a filled glass of red wine. As he sipped his wine, I noticed a rough scratch beside his ear; it made him look unattractive.

Finally he broke the silence, “Won’t you take the wine?” He smiled.

The question seemed stupid to me. I ignored him; rather I asked him “What took you so long?” My voice shuddered as if a lump of cold ice was in my throat.

“Can’t you see I am just coming back from work?” he replied harshly.

Today is indeed different; he has never talked to me like this before. I could see his strong point, but I know he felt my weak spot; my shuddering voice said it all. “Please Bill for Christ cake... sake answer-e-r me.” My voice shuddered the more.

He looked more poise and even kept a smiling face. He put his hand into his pocket and brought out a card. He handed it over to me. I took the paper from him and read it in my heart: A WEDDING INVITATION: Bill weds Jane…

I didn’t know what to say nor do. My heart was broken. I knew what this meant, Bill was getting married? “Bill what is...”

“Everything, my girl. You see, I never meant it to be like this…”

“Bill after all these years…so you where fooling me…I feel like….” I sobbed. Tears rolled down my cheeks, trickling into my mouth. I tasted salty tears of mine. I didn’t want to hear any of his nonsense, staying there broke my heart the more. Swiftly I walked out.

I could hear him smiling and calling me, “Baby, it is not like that! Please come back! Let’s part in peace...”

Truly, Bill was heartless. I walked aimlessly into the street broken-hearted. A thousand words filled my head: my friends warned me. I gave him my six years of my life. This is how you repay me. I feel like dying... death come! Bill, don’t leave me now. Where am I going to? How do I live without Bill? I hate you, Bill. Bill, you must get your reward on earth. Bill, you used me …

I banged my door hard and threw myself on the floor. I needed someone to help me out. Also, I wanted to be alone. Something like sweet word was floating in the air. It was my neighbor’s radio playing a soft song. I didn’t know who sang it, but the lyrics hit me the more:

Some broken hearts never mend♫
Some memories never ruin♫
Some tears will never dry ♫
My love for you will never die…♪

I knew that my broken heart would never mend again. I knew that the memory of that day will always remain in my head like a welded metal. Truly, I don’t want to see Bill again in my life. I fumbled into sleep. I was just like an unsold vegetable, like a spoilt boat being dragged with a winch.

It was almost dark when someone knocked on my door. I didn’t want to open the door at first, but the knock grew louder. The electricity was out. I didn’t know how to reach my candle and match box. I staggered to my door and opened it.

It was my friend Funmi. She was the one that always warned me about Bill. Since my day one in the university, she had been like a friend and a sister to me. But I hate it whenever she talked about Bill like "I saw Bill with a girl today." I thought she was only trying to take Bill away from me and reap were she did not sow, but I was wrong. As I wanted to greet her, I broke down in tears.

Funmi ran and held me, wrapped me round her body, put my head on her shoulder, and whispered into my ear, “He doesn’t deserve you one bit; don’t cry, baby. That fool is a cheat; I knew it.”

Her words hit me; I soaked her shoulder with my tears. I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t. I felt like explaining, but I didn’t utter a mouth. “Come on, look at you: You are beautiful, tall, and elegant; the right man is out there. Don’t cry, baby.”

She stayed with me all night. While she slept, I gazed into the dark ceiling as if the image of Bill hung there. This night, I had a dreamless sleep.

Day after day, I stayed indoors mourning Bill's exit from my life. Every kind of thought filled my head. I even thought about killing myself, but I couldn’t. Learning to live without Bill is like a baby learning how to walk. I was traumatized by the image of Bill.

Funmi now visited me daily, but today she didn’t look bright at all. “Funmi tell me what happened?” I asked her.

“Bill is dead,” she said.

First of all, I felt sad; then, all of sudden, I felt happy. At least, I wouldn’t be seeing the bastard again for the rest of my life. “How did he die?” I asked.

“A madman hit and stabbed him as he was about to leave Bar Beach,” Funmi continued. “Some of the prophets at the beach said that the goddess of love struck him down, that she hated Bill, while some prophets said that he annoyed God.”

That is how Bill died. He never left the scene. I never saw him again. I am sure he will never see my face again. Was it God or the goddess of love that killed Bill, I don’t know. All I know is that he is lost. I can move on with my life. He can never see my shame. Bill left an image in my heart though: I will never love again; my broken heart will never mend.
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Washington Dick is an associate editor of Kwenu.com and also a student of online to HALL University in UK.